There’s a line in an old Madonna ballad that goes: And I must confess that I… am usually drawn to sadness. And loneliness has never been a stranger… to me.
Lately I’ve been listening to her most melancholy songs that make me feel the way I do when I listen to Karen Carpenter. The entire time I was getting ready for work this morning, I played “Used to be my Playground” over and over and over again – I drove my mom nuts when I was a teenager playing music like that – but I could not get enough of that song.
Especially these stubborn lyrics:
“And why do they always say…
‘Don’t look back
Keep your head held high
Don’t ask them why
Because life is short
And before you know
You’re feeling old
And your heart is breaking
Don’t hold on to the past…’
…Well that’s too much to ask.”
“‘Say goodbye to yesterday’
Those are words I’ll never say.”
So I sang along a billion times until I was running late for work and as I got into my car I wondered, “Why DO they always say ‘don’t look back?'” I mean, maybe I’ll just spend the day living in the past, regretting everything that’s happened, letting myself get lost in despair, denying myself of today’s happiness…. again.
Then I saw the car I was driving behind:
His plate read DNTLKBK. Don’t look back. At least to me that’s what it read.
So I decided to try not to.