Monthly Archives: September 2011
How come every time I drive through Independence, I wind up wanting Gates for dinner?
Bronchitis plus sinus infection equals antibiotics, clear liquids, and:
I really need to get me some grandchildren. I saw this done here and I could not wait to go buy the vanilla wafers, chocolate, and food coloring pens to make some myself. It was as fun as it looks!
I tried to give some of them highlights:
These strawberry blondes are all wide awake:
Aren’t they the sweetest things ever? I took them all down to Andrea’s dorm and her friends said they were delicious. Gee, I’d forgotten to even taste one. Tanya posing with hers:
Very, very sweet. By the way, this is exactly how I picture the girls in the dorm all sleeping every night… angelic little smiling angels. Just like I was ;)
One of my favorite bloggers recently wrote this post titled Maybe it’s NOT about the happy ending, maybe it’s about the story. Her marriage ended five years ago and she still finds herself dealing with the fact that her life is different from what she thought it would be. And dealing with not knowing where things are going… how it’s going to end. Boy do I relate. I can let my mind wander to that place I thought I’d be right now and that I thought I knew who I’d grow old with. Or that I’d have someone to grow old with at all.
I still don’t really recognize this life.
So there was this beautiful comment left after the post and I’ve copied it here:
I read an article about a mother who had a child who was born with special needs. She likened it to planning a trip to France – you know everything about France but when you get off the plane you’re in Holland. It’s not that Holland isn’t beautiful but you don’t know your way around and you were expecting France! I think you’ve landed in Holland and you are doing a great job finding your way in an unexpected and unknown place! xoxo Nancy
I’m so thankful for that commenter’s way of explaining things to that blogger, because I can completely relate it to me. It’s not that I can’t or don’t love my life now, it’s that it isn’t what I’d grown over the past 15 years to know and desire. But what I knew and desired for myself then is GONE. And I find myself HERE. In my Holland.
I was thinking about all this and realized I had a couple things from the time I was actually in Holland in the shadowbox in my bedroom.
It may sound silly, but I’ve read lots of books on feng shui and I’ve come to regard my bedroom as the “place” that is most personal to my life. You know that old: if you want more passion, light red candles; if you are feeling stagnant, add live plants or aquariums. And so here in my bedroom, my most intimate place, I’m seeing “Holland?” I love it.
And the souvenirs weren’t all of it.
The toile fabric I’d used for curtains in the room also has windmills. In the scene shown below it almost looks as if Andrea and I (on the left) were just dropped off the boat… to our new life.
And in the following scene I’m being gently coaxed: “Here’s your life, over here.” I look skeptical. And scared.
I was hoping there was a contented scene to make me feel better, so I looked between some fabric folds and I found her (below). Rather industrious, isn’t she. And smiling. And that tells me, if I’m to follow this story, that she’s found peace.
No crying over yesterday or looking back, she’s home.
I will be, too.
Tree view from my bed:
And the tree outside Andrea’s bedroom always has its legs crossed :)
I asked Andrea what all her friends were wanting as a baked good and the consensus was fruity pebble treats? Yuck. But okay…
I took them white trash bars as well…
I’m working my way toward earning Andrea finally wanting to get the mom tattoo. Look at my cashier at Lowes! She loves her mama.
I got my Missouri Winery Passport all empty and waiting to be stamped by delicious Missouri wineries!