I have been feeling happy alot lately, and when I say lately.. I am speaking of about the past 4-6 months. It’s amazing. I can recall a time before that that I seemed to be always sad. When I separated and divorced my ex-husband (late 08 and early 09) life was so, so dark. And I’ve been waiting for that time when life feels normal again. When I look around and recognize myself and how I’m living as “me.” Not just somewhere I got lost and stuck.
I vividly recall a phone call with a friend a year and a half ago. Carol walked onto her front porch while we were speaking and exclaimed, “It’s a gorgeous day out here!” I could hear the smile and even her eyes twinkling while she spoke it. It didn’t help my mood and, in a way, only made it worse. What did I care what the weather was.. I was miserable no matter what. And knowing others were enjoying themselves made me feel even more alone. I never thought I’d ever care again what the weather was.
How times have changed! I find so much joy in every day living that it’s hard to believe that person was me. I feel loved and cared for and given attention – and even understood – by so many friends, relatives, and most of all God. I’m so close to God right now and I love it.
Two years ago I wrote this post about how I still slept on “my side” of the bed. How I couldn’t, in fact, even sleep on the other side let alone the middle. I don’t know what made me think of it but I recently realized that’s another thing that somewhere along the line finally changed. I used to sleep like this:
And now I sleep on any part of the bed – on either side or the middle – but usually like this:
I don’t know why, but it’s my favorite right now :)
Also, this was my latest Facebook status:
It’s been three years and I do believe.. I have come out the other side.